In our final section, we will discuss the basic human needs that underpin conflicts. While some of us have been socialized not to acknowledge or needs or to believe we do not have needs, they are essential components of life. The more we can identify our core needs and, when appropriate, communicate them with others, the more possible it is to work collaboratively with others to get our needs met.
Of course, in some situations, some individuals do not want to meet our needs and are not interested in collaboration. Others may perceive their own needs to be threatened and may perceive addressing our needs as “losing.” While such situations certainly exist, conflict transformation tries to find win-win scenarios whenever possible, even in embroiled conflicts that may seem so deeply entrenched they are impossible to shift. At the very least, being able to identify our own needs can help us meet them in ourselves, or get them met somewhere else outside of the conflict.
But what are basic human needs? Many theories exist, the most famous of which is Abraham Maslow’s (1943), in which he envisioned a hierarchy. In our course, we will use psychologist William Glasser’s (1998) theory, in which he categorizes five general human needs, which have specific permutations. According to the William Glasser Institute UK (n.d.), those needs are:
*Survival/Security: Sleep, food, water, comfort, warmth, and safety.
*Love/Belonging: Being cared for, caring for others, feeling wanted, at ease with others, and accepted by the group.
*Power: Feeling competent, successful, valued by others, empowerment to take action.
*Freedom: Freedom from pain, embarrassment, bullying, or control by others; freedom to make one’s own choices in life.
*Fun: Seeking enjoyment in activities, which could be leisure activities and hobbies, but sometimes also when learning or working.
When we are in conflict, underlying the presenting issue, we may perceive one or more of our human needs as threatened, whether consciously or consciously. This perception may or may not be grounded in fact; for our purposes, what is most important is to take this perception of threat seriously and find ways to address our own needs and the needs of others.
Let’s return to our previous example and consider the human needs that might have felt threatened:
Survival/Security: Person A may perceive the lack of acknowledgement of their points as a lack of security.
*They may fear their current position is not secure, including any future job security in academia.
*They may even be afraid of being harmed by others as a result of their marginalized status.
Love/Belonging: Person A may feel excluded from the group when Person B does not acknowledge their points.
*Person A may be less likely to engage in debates in the future, or experience heightened anxiety in group situations.
*Perceived threats to belonging can lead to fears of ostracization, which in turn can trigger concerns about survival.
Power: Person A likely feels disempowered when their points are not acknowledged.
*Threats to power can lead to people losing confidence in their own abilities, which can impact their sense of empowerment in the future.
*These perceived threats can be exacerbated if Person B holds a higher power position, or if people with higher power witness this interaction.
Freedom: Person A may feel less free to express themselves when Person B does not acknowledge their points.
*Such situations may lead Person A to feel less free to share opinions in the future.
*These perceived threats can lead to feelings of subjugation by others in academic situations and beyond, which returns us back to power.
Fun: Person A may have previously enjoyed academic debate, which lessens when Person B does not acknowledge their points.
*Person A may be less inclined to engage in the future, which may negatively impact their relationship with Person B.
*A lack of fun in one’s career may lead to future issues such as depression, anxiety, and burn out.
Some of these consequences may seem extreme when considering a situation that might appear rather minor. However, these perceptions of threat can be very real and are important for us to acknowledge when others are activated in conflicts.
Furthermore, not all needs can be met in a particular conflict; Person B cannot “solve” threats to belonging that Person A experienced in the past or “make” them feel more comfortable in their dynamic. In some case, being able to simply share feelings and needs with others you listen respectfully can positively impact the situation.
Conflict situations are complex. We have not yet examined Person B’s experience of the situation, which adds additional layers of complexity to the dynamic. To begin to address this complexity, we recommend focusing first on your own positions, interests, feelings, and needs, practicing identifying and naming them when conflict arise. The simple act of naming them can create sufficient distance for us to be able to communicate what we need to others, or at the very least, to take care of ourselves.
Consider how each of these needs manifest in your life.
*Are there areas in which you experience conflict because your needs are unmet or threatened?
*Can you see how others in conflict might be reacting due to perceived threats to their basic human needs?
*How might skills in collaboration help you try to get your needs met in a way that benefits everyone?
References
Glasser, William. 1998. Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom. Harper.
Maslow, Abraham H. 1943. “A Theory of Human Motivation.” Psychological Review 50, no. 4: 370–396.
William Glasser Institute UK. N.d. “Choice Theory: 5 Basic Human Needs.” Wgi-uk.co.org.